In Touch with You Blog: Details

We will all have to deal with a loved ones death eventually.

2/10/2011
We both (and her family) knew this was coming (they already made several difficult decisions like when to move from active treatment, to palliative care and then on to hospice), but it is still difficult to go through the process of making arrangements, etc. Did her Mom have an Advance Directive? Does the family know her wishes as to how she wants a service or where she wants to be buried and/or cremated?  I believe they do, because when her Mom started getting sicker, I kept telling my friend what sort of questions to ask her Mom. Besides working at the Hospital for the past 20 years, I have experienced it myself with both my Father and Mother, so I had a bit of knowledge on the subject to share with her.

Believe me – nobody likes to talk about death and end-of-life issues, but it is SO important to those left to deal with the arrangements and their own life after their loved ones death. It just so happens that the Cancer Care Center is hosting a Community program called Do We Really Need to Talk About it?” on Wednesday, March 16th at 6:30 pm in their Community Room. Kathy Yeatman-Stock, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker will discuss the importance of Advance Care Planning and all of the legal, financial and healthcare decisions that need to be in place before and during the period of end-of-life. You can register by calling 909.865-9858 or online at ferc@pvhmc.org.

If you haven’t had to personally experience a death of a loved one, then I really recommend you attend the program so you can know how to approach this difficult topic. Even though the Hospital keeps many people alive and healthy, there are still deaths inside and outside the Hospital every day. This is an important issue that we all will encounter whether we want to or not! My girlfriend is home today, grieving and beginning to make the arrangements her Mother wanted.

Comments for "We will all have to deal with a loved ones death eventually."
Community Member
2/10/2011
It''s the conversation no one wants to have but it is the start of relieving stress and anxiety for BOTH sides!
Kathy Yeatman-Stock, LCSW
2/10/2011
Facing the death of a loved one can be a stressful time for the family members. Making end of life decisions for a loved one adds even more stress. Participating in discussions about advance care planning needs before the crisis helps decrease the stress. Knowing what a loved one wishes with regard to medical treatments and preferences for end of life care makes the decision making easier for the family and the healthcare providers. No one can predict his or her future health problems and healthcare providers can not predict the types of treatment a patient would want. When wishes for treatment are not communicated in advance, it is often assumed that the family will be able to make the decisions. It is my experience that this is not always the case and when there are multiple family members this becomes even more of a challenge. Sometimes, wonderful family relationships can become strained when they are left to decide medical treatments for their loved one that is dealing with an acute or chronic illness, or at the end of life. Advance care planning is a process and begins with discussions about general wishes, desires, and goals one hopes to accomplish before they die. Included in this is managing life affairs and healthcare decisions. At my presentation on Wednesday, March 16 (6:30 pm at the Cancer Care Center), I will provide suggestions for how to initiate the process, give tips for conversation starters, and make available advance directive forms for attendees to take with them. By providing these tools it is my hope that one will gain a sense of control and peace of mind when making decisions instead of feeling overwhelmed and helpless to the process.
Tami Barto
2/11/2011
Thanks Kathy for explaining clearly how important it is to "Talk About it!"

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